2017/04/28 § Leave a comment
I’ve been meaning to tell you this for quite a while now. I just didn’t have the guts then. I actually still am pretty scared right now but, what the heck, I’ll just say it.
I know we haven’t really talked since the last time we saw each other. I know we don’t really talk that often at all. But lately, i’ve been thinking about you a lot. I just wanted to let you know that, I think I like you. You don’t have to respond or anything. I just wanted to get that out of my system. So, yeah. There. I’m not sure if you knew, or felt it somehow, but yeah… I like you.
2017/02/24 § Leave a comment
I close my eyes- I see you.
I listen to my favorite song- I hear you.
I walk through the park- I smell you.
I go to the bar- I feel you.
Me, me, me.
I look at you-
I fall for you.
Me, me, me-
I throw my heart-
You keep yours.
I hear it shatter-
Yours keeps on beating.
I walk to you-
You turn around and walk away.
I’m left here-
It’s a one-woman show.
2017/02/24 § Leave a comment
I was a coward.
I still am.
Every single day I think about you,
I think about the what if’s.
But I was scared.
I still am-
Because I know whatever I do,
There will never be.
Every single night I close these eyes,
I imagine what it would be like-
What it would feel like.
It’s been 2 years,
And it never gets easier.
You never found out.
I never said a word.
And it’s the hardest thing I ever had to do.
2016/11/24 § Leave a comment
You used to be a friend.
You used to be a treasured friend.
Until you ruined me.
You thought I would not find out – but I did.
I’ve always wondered what made you do the things you did.
What did I ever do to you?
Up to this day, I’ve never figured it out.
People tell me they ask you to apologize – but you wouldn’t.
It’s okay. I don’t need one.
Go on and live your life and I’ll live mine.
It’s been months since.
Through those months I keep telling myself I don’t care.
Through those months I keep telling myself I’m okay.
After 9 months, I’m strong enough to say – I’m not.
I’m not okay.
I was never okay.
I hate it.
I hate you.
I hate me.
I hate everything that’s going on inside me – inside my head.
I hate that everything you do affects me.
I lie to myself every single day when I say it doesn’t.
I hate that I think of you in everything I do.
I hate how much control you have in my life.
I hate myself because I allowed you to have that much control.
I hate myself for caring so much – too much.
Not about you… I’ve long stopped caring about you.
And I will never care about you.
But I will always look you up – to see what’s going on.
To see what you’ve been up to.
And I hate myself some more..
Because finally, after 9 months… I can admit…
I can’t stop.
And I hate myself more…
After 9 months…
After telling myself to stop caring…
After detaching myself from you…
After pushing myself forward…
I have shoved myself more towards this hole,
Where you can continuously torment me.
Where you can continuously torture me.
Where you can continuously control me.
I have succumb to this pain.
And I have allowed you to win.
2016/09/09 § Leave a comment
It’s been a while since we last talked
Since we said our goodbyes
I was meaning to tell you something
When I sent you a message that night
I wanted to say everything
But my hands wanted nothing to do with it
I typed the words
they deleted them
I was meaning to tell you-
that I like you
that I was falling for you
that I don’t know how, or why, or when
that I love your passion
that I love your dedication
that I love your sincerity
that I love that you’re genuine
that I love that you’re goofy
that I love that you’re shy
that I love every second we’re together – albeit short
that I love how hearing your name makes me blush
that I love your smile
that I love your laugh
that I love you
2016/02/14 § Leave a comment
You walked through the door.
I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds.
You said hi and introduced yourself.
I was hooked in an instant.
You smiled and talked about your craft.
I was immediately drawn.
You hugged me and said goodbye.
I turn around and let a single tear fall.
You came back and walked through the same door.
I stopped breathing a few seconds more.
2016/02/13 § Leave a comment
We are 2, 620 km apart-
Separated by land and sea.
Your clock chimes twelve-
I wait for one more hour.
You live through 4 seasons-
I suffer through the heat of the tropical sun.
You wake up after 2 hours of sleep,
Ready to go to rehearsal-
I stand up after a 5 hour nap,
For another day at the office.
You dance atop a stage-
I run through the bustling rush hour crowd.
You sing in front of thousands-
I try to sing inside the shower.
You have 81,088 fans all over the world-
I have 303 followers on Twitter.
You sleep through a 1-hour & 57-minute flight to Tokyo every other day-
I sweat through a 1-hour & 50 minute train ride and walk to work every single day.
I believe that I am falling in love with you everyday-
You do not even know I exist.