To:

2017/04/28 § Leave a comment

Hey.

I’ve been meaning to tell you this for quite a while now. I just didn’t have the guts then. I actually still am pretty scared right now but, what the heck, I’ll just say it.

I know we haven’t really talked since the last time we saw each other. I know we don’t really talk that often at all. But lately, i’ve been thinking about you a lot. I just wanted to let you know that, I think I like you. You don’t have to respond or anything. I just wanted to get that out of my system. So, yeah. There. I’m not sure if you knew, or felt it somehow, but yeah… I like you.

One-Woman Show

2017/02/24 § Leave a comment

I close my eyes- I see you.

I listen to my favorite song- I hear you.

I walk through the park- I smell you.

I go to the bar- I feel you.

Me, me, me.

I look at you-

I fall for you.

Me, me, me-

Not you.

I throw my heart-

You keep yours.

I hear it shatter-

Yours keeps on beating.

I walk to you-

You turn around and walk away.

I’m left here-

It’s a one-woman show.

Never Was

2017/02/24 § Leave a comment

I was a coward.

I still am.

Every single day I think about you,

I think about the what if’s.

But I was scared.

I still am-

Because I know whatever I do,

There will never be.

Every single night I close these eyes,

I imagine what it would be like-

What it would feel like.

It’s been 2 years,

And it never gets easier.

You never found out.

I never said a word.

And it’s the hardest thing I ever had to do.

To My Tormentor

2016/11/24 § Leave a comment

You used to be a friend.

You used to be a treasured friend.

Until you ruined me.

You thought I would not find out – but I did.

I’ve always wondered what made you do the things you did.

What did I ever do to you?

Up to this day, I’ve never figured it out.

People tell me they ask you to apologize – but you wouldn’t.

It’s okay. I don’t need one.

Go on and live your life and I’ll live mine.

It’s been months since.

Through those months I keep telling myself I don’t care.

Through those months I keep telling myself I’m okay.

After 9 months, I’m strong enough to say – I’m not.

I’m not okay.

I was never okay.

I hate it.

I hate you.

I hate me.

I hate everything that’s going on inside me – inside my head.

I hate that everything you do affects me.

I lie to myself every single day when I say it doesn’t.

I hate that I think of you in everything I do.

I hate how much control you have in my life.

I hate myself because I allowed you to have that much control.

I hate myself for caring so much – too much.

Not about you… I’ve long stopped caring about you.

And I will never care about you.

But I will always look you up – to see what’s going on.

To see what you’ve been up to.

And I hate myself some more..

Because finally, after 9 months… I can admit…

I’m jealous…

I can’t stop.

And I hate myself more…

After 9 months…

After telling myself to stop caring…

After detaching myself from you…

After pushing myself forward…

I have shoved myself more towards this hole,

Where you can continuously torment me.

Where you can continuously torture me.

Where you can continuously control me.

I have succumb to this pain.

And I have allowed you to win.

 

[Untitled]

2016/09/09 § Leave a comment

Hey

What’s up

It’s me

It’s been a while since we last talked

Since we said our goodbyes

I was meaning to tell you something

When I sent you a message that night

I wanted to say everything

But my hands wanted nothing to  do with it

I typed the words

they deleted them

I was meaning to tell you-

that I like you

that I was falling for you

that I don’t know how, or why, or when

that I love your passion

that I love your dedication

that I love your sincerity

that I love that you’re genuine

that I love that you’re goofy

that I love that you’re shy

that I love every second we’re together – albeit short

that I love how hearing your name makes me blush

that I love your smile

that I love your laugh

that I love you

Control +

A +

Delete

Barely Breathing (You And I)

2016/02/14 § Leave a comment

You walked through the door.

I think I stopped breathing for a few seconds.

You said hi and introduced yourself.

I was hooked in an instant.

You smiled and talked about your craft.

I was immediately drawn.

You hugged me and said goodbye.

I turn around and let a single tear fall.

You came back and walked through the same door.

I stopped breathing a few seconds more.

 

The Difference(s)

2016/02/13 § Leave a comment

We are 2, 620 km apart-
Separated by land and sea.
Your clock chimes twelve-
I wait for one more hour.
You live through 4 seasons-
I suffer through the heat of the tropical sun.
You wake up after 2 hours of sleep,
Ready to go to rehearsal-
I stand up after a 5 hour nap,
For another day at the office.
You dance atop a stage-
I run through the bustling rush hour crowd.
You sing in front of thousands-
I try to sing inside the shower.
You have 81,088 fans all over the world-
I have 303 followers on Twitter.
You sleep through a 1-hour & 57-minute flight to Tokyo every other day-
I sweat through a 1-hour & 50 minute train ride and walk to work every single day.
I believe that I am falling in love with you everyday-
You do not even know I exist.

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